


Entomophobia

by ironicosity



Series: vent fics by beck [1]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Entomophobia, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Tyler has entomophobia, guess whos projecting, its me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6232861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicosity/pseuds/ironicosity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was glad he had Josh to kill the bugs and calm him down. It was a bit annoying not being able to clean an entire portion of your kitchen because there were ants on the counter, but Josh was always willing to do it for him. He really loved Josh.<br/>Josh definitely loved him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Entomophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy guess who's projecting again?? Its me!! Yeah I have entomophobia which is the fear of insects and it's not fun,, really not. If you ever thought about making fun of someone's phobia, seriously pls don't bc phobias are serious and can be crippling! They also affect the daily life of people with them and can be a very sensitive topic (i know for me it is). Sorry I'm not creative with titles :/ anyways enjoy, thanks for reading!

Tyler stood from where he was sat on the couch. He had found the words, and there was no way he was going to lose them. He needed to write them down. Walking to the kitchen, he opened three drawers before pulling out the first piece of paper he found. He searched the rest of the kitchen for a pen before remembering that he had one in his bedroom. He couldn't forget the words, he just couldn't.

Walking through the doorway of his room, Tyler noticed a large dark spot on the wall to his left. His anxiety started to appear, but he tried to repress it. It was fine, he tried to tell himself. He got a bit closer, and that’s when he saw them. The legs, the antennae, god, it was horrifying. He felt sick to his stomach. His feet stopped moving, frozen in place.

Tyler wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t do anything. He couldn't move. It was _right there,_ right next to him, and he couldn’t stop staring at it. Every bone in his body told him to run, but he couldn’t move his legs.

He knew he was breathing fast, probably too fast, but he didn’t have any oxygen and _wow he didn’t know he could feel this lightheaded._

He knew he needed to look away, to leave, to escape. He could feel his chest heaving. His eyes were beginning to sting because _he couldn’t blink he couldn’t look away if he looked away it would move and it might be on him oh god what if it’s on him._

He couldn’t kill it because that would require getting closer to it, and he was already much too close as it was. What was he to do? Josh was out, so he couldn’t get him to kill it. He would feel childish if he wasn’t too busy being fucking terrified.

He felt overwhelmed. Everything was crashing onto him at once.

He screamed when it darted to the other side of the room. He bolted out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He picked up a couple articles of clothing from the hall and tucked them against the gap between the door and the floor. He slumped down to the floor, tucking his knees up to his chest. His hands were shaking and he felt disgusting. It was near him. It was just so close to him, it could jump and it could have landed on him.

He pulled out his phone and googled with shaky hands if cockroaches could jump. Scrolling through the google results, he discovered that cockroaches can fly, which proceeded to make his panic attack even worse because _that thing can fucking fly what the fuck oh god oh god_.

He turned off his phone and dropped his head onto his knees, pulling his arms around himself. It felt like hours, but it was only a couple minutes until he heard the front door slam.

“Tyler, I’m home. Where are you?” He couldn’t answer. His throat was closing up, and he just cried harder. He was gulping air at this point, but it just didn’t feel like enough. He felt like he was suffocating. He looked up when he felt something touching his arms. It was Josh. His warm hand was placed gently on Tyler’s arm.

"Tyler, it’s okay. Hey, look at me. Come on, breathe with me,” he spoke softly, as if he were going to scare Tyler away if he spoke any louder. Then again, he might. Tyler tried to focus on his breathing. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Eventually, his lungs felt more full, and he began breathing at a steady pace.

“You’re okay, Tyler. I’m right here. It’s alright,” he said. Everything seemed more real to Tyler now. He could see the worry in Josh’s eyes, he could feel the hard wall against his back _. He was okay, he was okay, he was okay._ He had to repeat it like a mantra for all the anxiety to dissipate.

“There was,” Tyler stopped to swallow, eyes closing as he mentally readied himself, “a cockroach, on the-the wall. I couldn’t… I just…” He couldn’t seem to get more words out. His hands were still shaking when Josh took them into his.

“It’s alright, Tyler. It's in there, and you're out here. It can't touch you.” Josh had no idea why Tyler was so upset-Tyler refused to tell him about his phobia-but that didn't mean he didn't care. He wanted Tyler to be okay, to calm down. He sat on the floor next to Tyler for a few more minutes, letting him calm down. He let him rest his head against his shoulder, and shushed him whenever he heard a whimper or felt a tremor.

After a bit, Josh stood, reaching his hands out towards Tyler. He pulled him from the floor, leading him into the living room. Tyler sat down on the end of the couch, Josh by his side. They sat in silence for a few comforting moments before Josh spoke.

“So… not that I don’t agree that cockroaches are nasty, but why did you react so strongly?” he asked. Tyler knew he would have to tell Josh about his phobia sooner or later, but he was scared. He thought Josh would think it was childish, and tell him to _just get over it._ Tyler has definitely tried to get over it, but to no avail. He was still scared shitless of insects of all kinds.

“I’ve got a phobia of insects. I know it sounds childish, but I can’t help it. They’re just… terrifying,” he spoke nervously. The last thing he wanted was for Josh to think he was immature.

"Please don't, you know, think it's stupid or something. I can't exactly help it. I'm trying, really, to get over it…” Tyler’s words slowed to a halt as Josh placed his hand on top of Tyler’s. Looking up at Josh, he realised he was beginning to ramble.

“Well, you learn a new thing every day, huh? I think it's probably gone by now, but if you want, I can go in there and look for it.” Josh didn't even bat an eye when he said it. Tyler was beyond relieved. He had shown only compassion and accepting towards him. Thinking about it, Tyler realised he was definitely overreacting and fearing the impossible. There was no way Josh would judge him over such a superfluous thing, no less something he can't help. He mentally slapped himself for being so ridiculous.

“You don't have to. Besides, there's literally no way I'm even stepping foot in there for at least the rest of today,” Tyler laughed, “Guess I'd better find a blanket so I can sleep on the couch.” He wouldn't go in there if his life depended on it. It was the bug’s room now.

“Hey, no, man. You don't have to sleep on the couch. Take my room tonight.”

“No, no, no, then you would be sleeping on the couch! I don't want to make you sleep on the couch.”

“You're not making me do anything. I offered, seriously. Take my room.”

“But it's your room! I don't want-”

“Why don't we just share my bed then? Solves all the problems,” Josh says, triumphant for coming up with such a good idea. Tyler stared at him for a moment.

“I mean, only if you're okay with that. I don't want to be a bother or-”

“Tyler, you're never a bother,” he said, cutting Tyler off before he could finish the thought. Tyler simply nodded. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

“What did you need from your room anyways?” Josh asked.

"I just wanted to grab a pen. I was working on a song,” he responded, chuckling quietly, “No getting the pen now, though.”

“Tyler, there are pens in the kitchen,” Josh smiled.

"Yeah, but I couldn't find one! I needed to get one before I lost the idea. Although, I guess I've really lost the idea now.”

“It’s almost ten, anyways. I don’t want you staying up all night writing again. You don’t even notice when you do.”

"I can’t help it! I just get, like, engrossed in the writing,” Tyler retaliated.

“Whatever, writer boy,” Josh laughed. He pushed himself up off the couch and turned to face Tyler. “I’m headed to bed. Join me whenever.” Tyler nodded, standing up as well.

“I might as well go now,” he said, following Josh to his bedroom.

He was glad he had Josh to kill the bugs and calm him down. It was a bit annoying not being able to clean an entire portion of your kitchen because there were ants on the counter, but Josh was always willing to do it for him. He really loved Josh.

Josh definitely loved him back.

Walking through the doorway, Josh pulled off his shirt and threw it on the ground. Tyler followed suit, stripping to his boxers. Josh plopped down on his bed, pulling the blanket up from the floor where it had fallen.

“You’re sure it’s o-”

“Tyler, get in the fucking bed already.”

“Oh, okay,” Tyler muttered, turning pink from embarrassment. He walked to the other side of the bed, falling down next to Josh.

“Goodnight, Tyler.”

“Goodnight, Josh.”

Josh pulled the blanket above the two of them, making sure Tyler was fully covered before closing his eyes to sleep. Tyler looked over at his face, almost glowing in the moonlight. His messy red hair was strewn about, and he had a relaxed look on his face.

Tyler reached his hand down, feeling Josh’s warm fingers interlace themselves with his. He held on tight, as if he might lose him if he let go. Josh’s hand gripped back, and a small smile crept its way onto his face. He knew in this instant that he truly loved this man.

The blanket was heavy and warm over his body, making him feel secure and safe. He was still a bit paranoid that maybe there was an insect near, but being so close to Josh made him feel better. It made him feel brave.

“I love you, Josh,” he whispered, almost in hopes that he wouldn’t hear. Josh smiled even bigger, squeezing his hand lightly.

“I love you, too.” Tyler smiled, looking back to the ceiling. Closing his eyes, he focused on Josh. Even his breathing was rhythmic, set to a beat.

He was safe by Josh’s side, lulled to sleep by the in, out, in, out of his breath. The breakdown of earlier was but a faint memory in his soothed thoughts. He fell asleep soon after.


End file.
